Mediation meeting: Greatest Criminal Minds in the World Inc v Catwoman.
9am: Opening plenary session.
Venue: The Commissioner Gordon and Police Chief Miles O’Hara conference suite (located in the basement of a law firm somewhere in Gotham City!)…
The Joker (representing ‘Greatest Criminal Minds in the World Inc’) and the Penguin are seated on one side of the table, and Catwoman (a formerly purrfect employee) and her representative – the Riddler, are seated on the other. They are face to face, eye ball to eye ball, and nobody has touched the chocolate chip cookies.
It’s an unfair dismissal claim.
Catwoman’s complaint is that she was unfairly dismissed because she had whacked the Penguin on his beak with her Il Marchesato designer umbrella, when he turned up for work (yes you guessed it) dressed as a penguin, and waddled toward her making a loud quacking noise and flapping his arms, which she took to be an insult.
The company (‘Greatest Criminal Minds in the World Inc’) allege that it was dress down Friday in Gotham City and that Catwoman had behaved inappropriately.
They are meeting in an attempt to resolve the dispute through ‘Barrister-Assisted Co-Mediation’.
Batman, who is an accredited Mediator, but neither a lawyer, nor an expert on dress codes in the workplace of a criminal organisation, has been jointly appointed by the parties to mediate the dispute.
The parties have also jointly appointed Robin (otherwise known as the ‘Boy Wonder’), a very smart Barrister who specialises in this area of the law, to help Batman, i.e. as an expert/specialist Co-Mediator:
1. understand the facts, technical issues in the case, and underlying legal principles, and
2. facilitate the negotiation of a settlement (jointly developed by the parties) through a process of road-mapping and creative problem-solving that results in the agreement of a formula for settlement and terms.
I call this process ‘Barrister Assisted Mediation’ (‘BAM!’).
Through the process of Barrister Assisted Mediation (‘BAM’), can the caped crusaders help the parties agree terms of settlement before 5.30pm?
Well folks you will have to wait until the next episode.
Meanwhile, there is a lot of work going on behind the scenes, and the chocolate chip cookies have mysteriously disappeared!
Batman: ‘Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There’s not a moment to lose!’
Boy wonder: ‘The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it’s almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.’
Batman: ‘Let’s Go Robin’.
Boy Wonder: ‘Atomic batteries to power, Turbines to speed.’
Batman: ‘Roger. Ready to move out.’
BAM! …
As Commissioner Gordon might have said to Police Chief Miles O’Hara as they gazed upwards at the Batcopter flying overhead (que Batman music) – ‘Doesn’t it give you a warm glow just knowing that they are up there!’
TO BE CONTINUED …
Meanwhile wishing all readers of my posts a Happy and Peaceful New Year!